I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Two words: nipple clamps
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