Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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