I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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