Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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