I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
