I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Randomize
