It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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