What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
