your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
