I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
