i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
