If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
