She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
