What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
