i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Farmville is her only friend.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize
