is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
