he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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