I think I am morally bankrupt
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize