You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
