Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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