sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
