Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
