I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
