Are we in a gay sports bar?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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