I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
All the doctor said was why
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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