so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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