hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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