i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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