so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
