i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
