so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
