i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Blood and glitter go together right?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Randomize
