it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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