I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
