This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
