Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
