I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
