Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
