you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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