There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
