I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
