I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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