I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
