u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
