I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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