Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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