umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
send nudes
from the living room?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
