I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
