he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
