y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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